I haven’t seen my ex girlfriend since our breakup and today she and our friend asked me to meet up. I obliged happily. I was excited, yet nervous. I was full of hope and at the same time, weary of what might happen.
I admit, few days ago, the idea of meeting my ex girlfriend seems to me a little awkward and uneasy especially we haven’t seen each other in a while, more than 8 months to be exact. I was thinking what should be my reactions and gestures. I was going in with the impression that I would spill all my emotions on the table at some point, apologize and ask for forgiveness. And in my heart, I really wanted to ask her back and if she didn't take me back or at least agree to take steps to build towards a new relationship I would never agree to meet with her and with our friend/s again.
Well that didn't happen. When I saw her from afar, I had butterflies in my stomach. I want to run into her arms, cry and tell her how much I miss her. I guess it was natural to be overflowing with excitement since we have been apart and this was our first meeting since the breakup, however, I know I should keep my enthusiasm in check. The last thing I want is to give her the impression that I have been eagerly awaiting this meeting. And I do not know if she has still feelings for me or she already moved on.
So there, when I saw her earlier today, I just gave her an almost light hug. Instantly I had an epiphany. I realized that I really want her back. I miss her so much! The smile in her face the I have been longing to see, the twinkle in her eyes that I always stared at, her scent that I always pray not to forget and her voice that will always be a music to my ears. She is still my one great true love. She is my Babe, my Baby.
Geez, I am crying a river now while writing this.
But I saw tremendous changes in her – her lips and her hair. Yes, I am looking incessantly in her lips. It was not cherry red as before. Her hair was messy. As far as I know she does not want to keep her hair long. Yes, it looked good on her but it lessens the attractiveness and sexual appeal she has.
When I sat beside her, I wanted to hug her. I wanted to kiss her lips and smell her armpit. I have excessive desire to be in her arms, lie down on her lap and comb her hair with my fingers. When we were walking earlier, I want to feel our fingers interlock. I wanted to tell her I miss her so much and I am still thinking of her every day. My stomach dropped and I started mumbling "I love you, Babe. I love you. I still love you. I am still in love with you."
I switched gears. I cannot say it to her. I keep her updated with some happenings in my life like going back to school to study Japanese Language and that I worked near her office few months after we broke up. I didn't try to boast, I was just honest about what was going on in my life. You should have seen the look in her eyes! She seemed so surprised. I heard from our friend that she will be resigning in her work soon. I do not know why, maybe to finally settle down with her 8-year girlfriend. Lucky her, she will be with my Baby forever. Sigh.
I do not want to end this day but that is inevitable. I am praying to God to stop the time so I can be with her for a longer time. But still, I am grateful that God blessed me with this experience of meeting her and spent a whole day with her and with our friend. I feel it was a dream. But now, back to reality.
Yes, after all this time I'm still into her.
I admit, few days ago, the idea of meeting my ex girlfriend seems to me a little awkward and uneasy especially we haven’t seen each other in a while, more than 8 months to be exact. I was thinking what should be my reactions and gestures. I was going in with the impression that I would spill all my emotions on the table at some point, apologize and ask for forgiveness. And in my heart, I really wanted to ask her back and if she didn't take me back or at least agree to take steps to build towards a new relationship I would never agree to meet with her and with our friend/s again.
Well that didn't happen. When I saw her from afar, I had butterflies in my stomach. I want to run into her arms, cry and tell her how much I miss her. I guess it was natural to be overflowing with excitement since we have been apart and this was our first meeting since the breakup, however, I know I should keep my enthusiasm in check. The last thing I want is to give her the impression that I have been eagerly awaiting this meeting. And I do not know if she has still feelings for me or she already moved on.
So there, when I saw her earlier today, I just gave her an almost light hug. Instantly I had an epiphany. I realized that I really want her back. I miss her so much! The smile in her face the I have been longing to see, the twinkle in her eyes that I always stared at, her scent that I always pray not to forget and her voice that will always be a music to my ears. She is still my one great true love. She is my Babe, my Baby.
Geez, I am crying a river now while writing this.
But I saw tremendous changes in her – her lips and her hair. Yes, I am looking incessantly in her lips. It was not cherry red as before. Her hair was messy. As far as I know she does not want to keep her hair long. Yes, it looked good on her but it lessens the attractiveness and sexual appeal she has.
When I sat beside her, I wanted to hug her. I wanted to kiss her lips and smell her armpit. I have excessive desire to be in her arms, lie down on her lap and comb her hair with my fingers. When we were walking earlier, I want to feel our fingers interlock. I wanted to tell her I miss her so much and I am still thinking of her every day. My stomach dropped and I started mumbling "I love you, Babe. I love you. I still love you. I am still in love with you."
I switched gears. I cannot say it to her. I keep her updated with some happenings in my life like going back to school to study Japanese Language and that I worked near her office few months after we broke up. I didn't try to boast, I was just honest about what was going on in my life. You should have seen the look in her eyes! She seemed so surprised. I heard from our friend that she will be resigning in her work soon. I do not know why, maybe to finally settle down with her 8-year girlfriend. Lucky her, she will be with my Baby forever. Sigh.
I do not want to end this day but that is inevitable. I am praying to God to stop the time so I can be with her for a longer time. But still, I am grateful that God blessed me with this experience of meeting her and spent a whole day with her and with our friend. I feel it was a dream. But now, back to reality.
Yes, after all this time I'm still into her.